He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
