Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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