Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We have started to decorate penises.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
