There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
