at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
