Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
