and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dignity is for republicans.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
