All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
third nipple confirmed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
