I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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