Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
