is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
