dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
