I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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