While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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