Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
