Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
