I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
