My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
