the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
