Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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