My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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