I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
