After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
