The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
