All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it hurts more in the daytime
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm too high and old for this...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
