so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
