What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
