Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
