I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
