My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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