She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
