im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
