I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
