he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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