1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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