oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Couch. On fire.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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