so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
