Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
