I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
