I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
