I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
