Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
