waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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