Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
