It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
