do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
