Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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