I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
