She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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