i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
